


It's Not A Farewell

by Utuinen



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, inspired by xehanort's reports, or some of Xehanort's thoughts are
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-27 17:56:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19386103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Utuinen/pseuds/Utuinen
Summary: Xehanort is preparing to leave Scala ad Caelum for his Mark of Mastery exam when Eraqus comes to talk with him.Eraqus happens to be both the reason he wants to go and the reason he wants to stay.





	It's Not A Farewell

**Author's Note:**

> Just something I felt like writing after rereading a few of the Xehanort's reports, I hope someone else can enjoy it too!

”I’ll come with you.”

Xehanort turned around to see Eraqus making a stubborn face. During the years Xehanort had trained with the other boy, he hadn’t really made up his mind whether it was adorable or annoying, or maybe even somehow both.

”I’m afraid not,” Xehanort said and couldn’t help the teasing smile before getting more serious. ”Master was clear about it -- only I’ll be going now.”

”But it’s so unfair,” Eraqus said. ”To be left behind when you go exploring all the worlds. And you already know what it’s like out there!”

”Maybe that’s why Master is sending me,” Xehanort shrugged. 

He didn’t know why their Master had decided that he would take his Mark of Mastery exam before Eraqus. He didn’t really even care about the _why_. He cared about the fact that he had gotten the permission to go, and that now he had a chance to show everyone his worth. Eraqus had always been so far ahead of him, having trained with a keyblade all his life, but now Xehanort finally felt like he was truly catching up.

”I don’t think you’ve ever talked about your home. What’s it like?” Eraqus asked and hopped to sit on a bench under the windows, fixing his eyes on Xehanort.

”Hmm,” Xehanort decided to continue his preparations later and instead pulled himself up, sitting next to Eraqus. He leaned his head back to the wall.

”It’s quiet. And small,” Xehanort said. He had always felt like that.

”But...” he continued a bit unsure about what he was about to say. It was not like that was _all_ he had ever thought about his home. Sure, he had left with no second thoughts -- almost with no second thoughts -- when the opportunity had shown itself, but despite everything, he still liked the Islands. The soft, continuous sighs as the waves crashed down to the beach, the sun setting over the ocean, the seashells that sometimes washed up at the shore.

”It’s also... nice. Peaceful.”

Xehanort had made the decision to leave and he would have never undone it even if he could have. He had gotten used to Scala ad Caelum, had gotten used to the keyblade lessons with their Master. But that wasn’t all. From Eraqus he had found a friend, someone to fight beside. And because of that, he would have to work hard, harder than anyone to be Eraqus’s equal one day. Eraqus was a keyblade prodigy, descendant straight from the great masters of the Age of Fairy Tales. Xehanort was a boy from some backwater islands, who, as far as anyone was concerned, had arrived at Scala ad Caelum out of pure luck. He enjoyed their days together, but at the same time he felt like he wasn’t truly free, being watched by both the Master and Eraqus, always having to find new ways to prove himself.

He knew Eraqus didn’t see it like that, but that didn’t change the fact that _he_ did.

”Can you describe it to me?” Eraqus asked, eager to hear more now that Xehanort was finally talking about home.

”Okay. Let’s see... It’s a cluster of small islands, yeah? There’s this one a little way from the main island, where I used to go often. There is a waterfall with a little pond, and behind it there’s a cave, found it all by myself. At the back of the cave I think I saw a door...” Xehanort quieted as he noticed he was trailing off. He wasn’t going to mention having met himself from the future. Eraqus didn’t need to know that.

”A door in a cave? Where did it lead?”

”I don’t know. It was locked,” Xehanort shrugged again.

”Too bad you didn’t have your keyblade back then, huh?” Eraqus smiled but seemed thoughful.

”Yeah,” Xehanort made himself return the smile. 

”What else?” Eraqus urged him to continue.

”A long beach with sand that’s almost white, and the waves kept washing against it. During hightide, almost all of it was left underwater. And on the other side of the island there’s a small grove of palms,” Xehanort found out it was actually quite fun to tell Eraqus about all these things, to see how Eraqus closed his eyes trying to picture it, all these things he knew nothing about. It almost made it feel like Xehanort hadn’t spent all those years on the Islands alone, but instead had had a friend with him. 

”Oh, and some paopu trees grow on the island, too.”

”What are paopus?” Eraqus asked and opened his eyes. He didn’t seem to mind that Xehanort had been staring at him.

”They’re this star shaped fruit. People say that sharing one with someone will make your destinies entwined,” Xehanort explained.

”Huh,” Eraqus hummed. ”Have you ever tried that?”

”No. What makes you think I would have?”

”No, it’s just... You seem to like that kind of things. Destiny. You always listen so keenly when Master talks about the ’fated battle’ and all that,” it was Eraqus’s turn to shrug.

”Well, not like I had anyone to try it out with anyway,” Xehanort said and turned his head to look out the window. The white buildings glittered in the sun.

”Say,” Eraqus sounded serious, but Xehanort could also _hear_ the dawning smile in his voice. Like he had come up with a really good idea.

”I’ll do it with you. Once we’re both masters. Let’s go to your home and eat paopus together.”

Xehanort glanced at Eraqus, surprised. He almost immediately turned his eyes back to the white buildings that nearly hurt to look straight at. It was all too bright.

”Only if you want to, of course,” Eraqus continued on.

”...need that,” Xehanort mumbled, and when he realized that Eraqus hadn’t properly heard him, said it again.

”I don’t think we need to do that. I have a feeling our destinies are already connected.”

”So where’s the harm?” Eraqus said and positively beamed.

Xehanort couldn’t help but to smile.

”I guess. Okay, let’s make that a promise. Once we’re both masters, so... another ten years from now?”

”Hey!” Eraqus exclaimed but laughed all the same. 

Xehanort laughed, too, and after they stopped the two of them just sat in a comfortable silence, legs almost touching on the bench. Xehanort hoped they could continue like this forever, being this close and comfortable with each other. They teased each other, and they argued, and they were both very competitive when they wanted to be, but those were all also the reasons Xehanort felt they were really friends in the first place. Their Master did have a third pupil as well, a boy named Yen Sid, but he was a weird one. Xehanort hadn’t really ever felt any kind of kinship with him, and he was sure he would not miss him when he traveled the worlds. Eraqus, on the other hand... Eraqus he would miss. He had tried not to think about it, but sitting here, like this, was making it very clear how lonely he would feel when he left.

”But, in all honesty, Xehanort...” Eraqus looked down and bit his lip. ”When you’re out there... Remember you’re not alone. You have me. You’ll always have me, no matter what.”

And Eraqus leaned closer, cupping Xehanort’s head with his hands. Xehanort could feel how warm Eraqus was, his hands, his short breath against his lips, almost but not quite touching. 

Xehanort’s eyes widened a little, but he couldn’t turn them away from Eraqus. Didn’t want to.

”Promise me that, too. You won’t forget that I’m here for you. _No matter what_ ,” Eraqus was only inches away from his face and his voice was barely a whisper.

Xehanort’s expression turned gentle, and he didn’t even try to hold back the fondness he felt anymore. Eraqus had always been so good at that, making all his worries disappear and make them look so small, breaking through the walls he built around himself. He wasn’t _alone_ , not anymore.

”I promise. I won’t forget,” Xehanort said in a huff before Eraqus closed the distance between them.

Their lips brushed together lightly, and even though they had not kissed before, it all felt so easy and right. It was not a long kiss, and probably not even a very good one, as neither of them had any experience with it, but it made a warm sensation spread through Xehanort’s whole body. He was happy to be there, to be with Eraqus.

As Eraqus moved his head away, Xehanort touched his cheek lightly.

”And that goes both ways, you know. Even though I’ll be gone for a while, you’ll always have me, as well,” he breathed quietly, looking straight into Eraqus’s eyes.

A soft smile adorned Eraqus’s face, and it only widened as Xehanort brought their foreheads together.

”Okay?”

”Hmm,” Eraqus crooned and blinked in agreement.

”So you don’t have to sound like this is so final. I’ll come back, and we’ll become masters together, and then we maybe even tutor our own pupils together.”

”And maybe even settle our score in chess?” Eraqus asked with a teasing tone.

”What’s there to settle, I’m winning,” Xehanort tried to hold back laughter.

”Actually, no. I won the last game, fair and square,” Eraqus said, trying just as hard to keep his face serious.

” _Actually, no_ ,” Xehanort mimed. ”You _cheated_ , and you know it. I would have won.”

”It’s not cheating to accidentally knock over the board!” Eraqus was already laughing.

”It is when you put all your pieces back in just a bit better positions!” Xehanort said and poked Eraqus’ side, knowing full well he was ticklish.

”Did--not--!” Eraqus gasped for breath in between his laughter, almost doubling into Xehanort’s lap.

He raised his head and brought his smiling lips up to Xehanort’s for another kiss, infused with laughter and the pure _joy_ he must have been feeling. Xehanort returned the second kiss and dared to stroke Eraqus’s soft, black curls, moving them away from his face. The kiss lasted probably longer than the first one, but in Xehanort’s opinion it was still too short. He would have wanted for it to go on until the sounds of the sea gulls and wind shifting through the city went quiet and it was just the two of them. He almost didn’t feel the longing for a chance to prove himself anymore, because he was sure Eraqus didn’t really care about that, and for once he was close to agreeing with him.

Almost.

The curiosity had always been a part of Xehanort. The curiosity, the pull he had to go and see the World outside the one he knew. And now he had a chance for that, too, a better one than he would have for a long time if he didn't take it.

”I should probably finish preparing,” Xehanort said softly, and Eraqus nodded. If either of them was disappointed, they hid it well.

”I’ll come to see you off,” Eraqus said.

”That you can do,” Xehanort smiled and got up from the bench.

”But don’t you dare cry in wront of the Master!” he continued, sounding maybe a bit harsh to his own ears as he failed to bring the normal, easy tease into his voice, but the words were already out of his mouth. ”It’s not a farewell -- just a goodbye.”

Eraqus nodded again.

”It’s not a farewell. I’ll be here to welcome you back when you return.”


End file.
